no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
