His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
