Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
