Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
