What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he shaved USA in his pubs
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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