I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
