Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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