thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
