Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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