I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my being single is dangerous.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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