you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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