Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
