i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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