A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
