They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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