I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
