so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
