Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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