Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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