Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
