Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you would pick up someone in the library
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
