Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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