The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize