you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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