can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
