I hope mine doesn't look like that
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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