And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize