So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
