We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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