There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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