NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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