umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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