whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
