I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
