i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize