i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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