Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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