Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
