It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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