he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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