I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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