"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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