My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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