thus making me awesome and them whores
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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