He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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