You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
