I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
