Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
