you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize