I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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