I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
