because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
