you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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