My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Send help, water and tortillas.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
