What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
