I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
