just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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